finding beauty in the broken pieces

Kintsugi (金継ぎ), or kintsukuroi (金繕い), literally golden (“kin”) and repair (“tsugi”), the traditional Japanese art of repairing broken ceramics with precious metal, finds beauty in the broken pieces. Rather than discarding damaged pottery, the kintsukuroi artist creates a new piece that tells its own story through its unique imperfections. In the end, the cracks and scars contribute to the character of the new piece. I hold a deep appreciation for this centuries-old tradition. It speaks to me in a profound way as a trauma therapist. The journey of healing from trauma includes finding beauty in the broken pieces, in our scars. Healing includes learning to honor the marks left by the wounds and the stories they tell.


Why Video Recording My Sessions Makes Me a Better Therapist

Training in the PACT model sparks excitement for clinicians. It also presents a steep learning curve. Even seasoned therapists experience some uncertainty when learning such an active and complex approach. PACT challenges therapists to integrate multiple components and theories into a sophisticated model. The full integration, while quite satisfying, takes time, patience, and practice. As…

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Cultivating Your Couple Bubble

In a healthy romantic relationship partners create safety and security with each other. Partners have each other’s backs and the folks around them see that they have each other’s backs. In PACT we refer to this as the couple bubble. We support couples in building a secure functioning relationship and in developing a couple bubble that…

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13 Reasons Why Not

For the past two weeks I’ve had an internal debate about whether or not to watch the Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why. Normally I wouldn’t share my TV indulgences in a blog post because, well, who cares? However, this is different. If you have a tween or teen in your life, this matters. Pop culture…

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Scientists Have Pinpointed The Annoying Genetic Mutation That Turns Us Into Night Owls

From By Fiona MacDonald, April 7, 2017 Any night owls reading this will be familiar with the struggle of constantly trying to fit into a morning person’s world. And now researchers say they’ve finally identified the genetic typo that causes this social jetlag. A new study has revealed that many people who stay up…

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Confessions of a Late Bloomer

True confessions: I never really wanted to be a couple therapist. I tell people that I was a late bloomer when it comes to couple therapy. It’s more accurate to say I was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the world of couple therapy by my friend, Krista. I always found the idea of couple therapy quite…

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You’re Not Crazy, It’s Just PTSD

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) makes people feel crazy. Really, really crazy. I am not even joking about this. Imagine living in a constant state of high alert or sensing danger all around you without knowing why. If you found yourself spacing out and not remembering what happened or wandering through life feeling disconnected from people…

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Surviving Life in a Post-Election World

Regardless of political leanings, it’s safe to say that most of us feel the effects of the increased negativity in the political atmosphere. The tone of our public discourse continues to spiral downward. It seems our country is in the midst of an existential crisis, and it ain’t pretty. Frustration, defensiveness, and anger abound. In…

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Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships

 I recommend this to all my couples and, because I’m kind of a dork, I also give it as an engagement gift to friends. Most of my clients love it. Although it’s not a prerequisite for starting therapy with me I tell couples that it will save them time and money in couple therapy. 

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How to Teach Your Kids About the Brain

Here’s a great article for parents, teachers, and therapists interested in helping kids improve emotional intelligence.     

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Childhood Trauma Leads to Brains Wired for Fear

  A brief explanation from Bessel van der Kolk about the long term impact of childhood trauma on the brain.  

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Asking for a Friend: I’m in Love With a Republican—What Do I Do?

Asking for a Friend: I’m in Love With a Republican—What Do I Do?  Last year my friend, Liza Featherstone, who writes for The Nation interviewed me for her column, “Asking for a Friend.” The issue seems even more relevant since the election. Click the link to read the article.

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