PACT-Based Practice for Couples
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The Individual’s Bubble
PACT Principle(s): Mutuality (two-person system), Having your partner’s owner’s manual Topic: Boundaries and Personal Space Overview: The need for personal space varies from person to person. […]
Putting Your Partner to Bed
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How to Use PACT-Based Practices for Couples
- These practices are designed for couples to use at home to develop or enhance their own secure functioning relationship. They are not a substitute for couple therapy or a consultation with a licensed mental health provider.
- Each PACT-Based Practice corresponds to one or more PACT principles for a secure functioning relationship. You can either select one at random or choose based on an area you and your partner feel you need assistance.
- Set aside at least thirty minutes (ideally an hour) of uninterrupted time to select and read through a practice.
- Identify a reasonable goal or intention for each practice such as "increase intimacy" or "feel more connected."
- Decide how long you and your partner would like to focus on that particular practice. One week is a good general rule for sticking with one practice before moving on to another one. However, you may decide to devote several weeks or a month to a particular practice. Once you decide the time period you want to dedicate to a practice, schedule a time in the future to reflect on the experience.
- Set aside a few minutes each day to check-in with each other specifically about the practice. Many of the practices have specific questions or discussion prompts for your check-in.
- Be flexible and creative. These are not one-size-fits-all practice suggestions. You and your partner may need to make several adjustments in order for a practice to work well for you.
- Be gentle with yourself and your partner. The idea behind the practices is to support your growth as a couple, not to provide a weapon to use against each other. The goal here is progress, not perfection.
- Have fun. Be silly. If you find yourselves fighting or blaming each other hit the pause button.
How to Use PACT-Based Practices for Couples
- These practices are designed for couples to use at home to develop or enhance their own secure functioning relationship. They are not a substitute for couple therapy or a consultation with a licensed mental health provider.
- Each PACT-Based Practice corresponds to one or more PACT principles for a secure functioning relationship. You can either select one at random or choose based on an area you and your partner feel you need assistance.
- Set aside at least thirty minutes (ideally an hour) of uninterrupted time to select and read through a practice.
- Identify a reasonable goal or intention for each practice such as "increase intimacy" or "feel more connected."
- Decide how long you and your partner would like to focus on that particular practice. One week is a good general rule for sticking with one practice before moving on to another one. However, you may decide to devote several weeks or a month to a particular practice. Once you decide the time period you want to dedicate to a practice, schedule a time in the future to reflect on the experience.
- Set aside a few minutes each day to check-in with each other specifically about the practice. Many of the practices have specific questions or discussion prompts for your check-in.
- Be flexible and creative. These are not one-size-fits-all practice suggestions. You and your partner may need to make several adjustments in order for a practice to work well for you.
- Be gentle with yourself and your partner. The idea behind the practices is to support your growth as a couple, not to provide a weapon to use against each other. The goal here is progress, not perfection.
- Have fun. Be silly. If you find yourselves fighting or blaming each other hit the pause button.
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